Fame
by SurpriseSushi
Summary: It was always a struggle, trying to be what they had deemed normal. He took the beatings, he took the turmoil, because he was well aware that that was his punishment for being different. Drabbles, rated T for abuse and language.


**Fame**

A One-shot by SurpriseSushi

**A NOTICE: This was a challenge. "Put a music playing device on shuffle and write 10 drabbles to whatever comes on, for the duration of the song." I kept to a certain theme, but I used music to help it along. I decided to keep them in their original drabble states, because I think adding the inbetween would take away from it, if that makes any sence what-so-ever. Anyway, read on! I hope you enjoy.**

**1.**_** "I appreciate your judgement."**_

"Sirius, what is that?"

Sirius looked down. "What?" He asked, inspecting himself.

"That." Remus pointed to the large ugly bruise that was peeking out from underneath Sirius's robes. Sirius pulled the sleeve down, but it was too late. He looked away from Remus, and said nothing. "_What _is it?" He demanded more forcefully, grabbing Sirius arm.

Sirius recoiled in fear, his eyes widening. Remus let go of him. "Nothing."

"Don't you fucking lie to me."

Sirius looked down. Then he stood, and pulled off the robe, and took off his shirt, revealing a bruised-covered, scar-covered chest. He still didn't look at Remus, but he could feel Remus's eyes on him. "Sirius..." He stared determinaly at his shoes, barely able to breath. He's never shown anyone these. These were his punishment. His punishment for being different.

**-The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle, A Day to Remember**

**2.**_** "This one could be my last time."**_

"I told you to leave it, Remus." Sirius said, walking ahead of his friend, waving his arm to elaborate his point.

"No, I wont just _leave it_, Pads. This is fucking serious. I can't ignore this." Remus replied, catching up to Sirius.

"It's none of your business! Besides, you don't even know what happened..."

"Because you wont tell me! But I can guess. Your covered in cuts and bruises, and more appear everytime you go back home-"

"_IT'S NOTHING!_ Okay?" Sirius spun around to face his friend. "It doesn't concern you."

"I'm your friend. Of course it concerns me. It concerns me, because I _worry_ about you! Is that alright? James, Peter and I apperently are the only one's who do!" He screamed back. "Being different is no reason for your parents to beat you!"

"You don't know anything! Just shut up!" Sirius felt the tears coming. He had hid them for so long, he felt like a dam about to burst. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not were everyone could see, and finally figure out how weak he was. Very cut, every briuse, every scar was a reminder.

**-Danger Line, Avenged Sevenfold**

**3.**_** "Never let this dream die."**_

"Who did this to you? Please, just tell me. Let me in! I want to help you." Remus whispered gently, holding his friends head in his lap, where he had collapsed.

Sirius didn't answer at first. Remus could feel him silently sobbing, not uttering a sound. He had had a lot of practice. Crying quietly for years, making sure no one knew... "My father." He finally said, his voice thick. "When I went home for Christmas in our first year, he locked me in my room with no food for a week because I was sorted into Griffindor. I thought I was going to die. If James and you hadn't sent me food..." He fell quiet. Remus didn't reply, and Sirius continued. "He never let me live that down. He let Regulus curse me, hex me, called it _practice_."

"What about your mother? Didn't she do anything?"

"My mother?" He heard Sirius laugh. "She didn't stop them. _She laughed. _Called me deceised. Said I had disgraced the Black family."

**-Glory, These Silhouettes**

**4.**_** "I don't want to world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand."**_

He looked down at him, lying on the floor, where he had struck him down. "Stupid boy. Did we not raise you to _think_? All this money, all this power, and you make friends with those... _half-breeds?_" He spat at him. "A werewolf. A mudblood. And a pureblood wizard with no talent. You call these disgusting excuses for wizards your friends? Your friends should all be in the glorious house of Slytherin!"

Sirius stayed down, knowing if he got up he'd just get kicked back down.

"If you were anything like you were brought up to be, you would be in Slytherin. You would know better than to be friendly with anyone from Griffindor. You would be like your brother Regulus. He isn't friends with any... _mudbloods._ Disgusting creatures." Sirius felt his anger rise, but he tried to keep it in check. "Has anything I've taught you, _anything at all_, gotten into that thick head of yours? These things - halfbloods, mudbloods, talentless _idiots_ - haven't I taught you that they are not like us? They all deserve to _rot_."

"_No!_" Sirius jumped up, and took out his wand, pointing it at his father. "Don't you dare threaten any of my friends!"

"Don't you point your wand at me, boy!" His father yelled, pulling out his own wand. "Do you really think that those _things_ have feelings? You truely believe they care about you as your mother and I do?"

"Care? _You?_ All you've ever done is feed me lies!" Sirius gripped his wand tightly, his aim unwavering.

"_We have cared for you!_ We have taught you what is right and what is wrong! Your mother and I loved you, and then you go and get sorted into Griffindor!"

**-Iris, Goo Goo Dolls**

**5.**_** "And I really wish you'd say what you're thinking."**_

"_Stupify!_" He screamed, a red jet of light erupting from his wand.

His father easily brushed the spell aside, and shot his own at Sirius. It hit him in the chest and made him fly backwards into the wall, and he slid down it to the floor. Spot flashed across his eyes, and he couldn't feel his body for a moment. "How dare you!" He heard his father yell, but it sounded like it came through a filter. "Those _friends_ of yours have planted these false idea's of equality in your head! Purebloods are the only true wizards! They are the superior race!" Sirius felt a fist connect with his cheek, and he tipped to the floor, sprawled on the cold surface. "These accusations are groundless! Your mother and I loved you! And we tried and tried to make you see the truth! I told her it was useless once you were sorted into Griffindor, but she wanted to believe you could change. You smashed her hopes for you! All of them!"

Sirius no longer felt that hot guilt when ever he heard those words. Instead of guilt, he felt satisfaction that he had managed to hurt his mother. He pulled himself up, and turned to face his father. "Good! Her hopes for me were malicious and evil! Just like you! You're evil, just a pawn of Voldemort! You tried to teach me that it was okay to kill people! I refuse to believe that that's alr-" He was flung off his feet by another spell. He smashed onto the ground hard on his back, and he couldn't breath for a seond. "_Re-reducto!_"

**-If You Coud See Into My Soul, Silverstien**

**6.**_** "Why'd he ever have to leave me? Worm, Your Honor, let me take him home."**_

"Then just leave! Your pressence here is harmful to your mothers health!" He shouted, throwing a trunk at his fallen son, not bothering to wipe the blood off his cheek. "Run. Run to your infected friends, who will just enivitably poison you. These idea's you have concocted will be your downfall. You will soon come to realise how wrong you are, and you will have wished you had never left! But if you wish to leave, I am done trying to keep you here for the sake of your mother."

"I dont need your permission to leave!" Sirius managed to say, his lungs and thoat searing with pain. "You have no authority over me, you are no longer my father!"

"And you are no son of mine!" And he turned around and stalked away.

Sirius's rage hit a breaking point, and he ran up the stairs, into his room. He yanked the trunk into the room, and flung it open, shoving everthing he could into it. He somehow managed to put everything he needed into it without organization, and he stumbled back down the stairs. Not a soul in sight. He threw open the door, and stepped out, half expecting his father to force him back inside. When not a sound came, he slammed the door behind him, and set off into the unknown, his blinding rage inabling any cohearant thought.

**-The Trial, Pink Floyd**

**7.**_** "I don't need to fight to prove I'm right."**_

He didn't know how long he had been walking. It felt like hours, but it might have only been minutes; at the same time, it felt like minutes, but it could have been hours. He dragged his trunk beind him, his wand still held in his hand as he walked away from Grimmauld Place. His seething rage was calming, and he soon began to realise he didn't know where he was going, or, for that matter, where he was currently. He stopped, and took a quick glance of his surroundings. He didn't reconize anything. "Fuck." He whispered. Where could he go? Hogwarts? Was it even open during the school holidays? Would he even be allowed back? He'd attacked his father... He had preformed underage magic.

Could he go to Remus's? He had no idea where he lived. Neither did he know where Peter was. Then it dawned on him.

Of course. James.

How could he get there? He didn't have a broomstick, and he couldn't apparate. He could transofrm into a dog to make the journey easier, but he couldn't drag his trunk like that, it was far too heavy. Then he thought of the nightbus. He had traveled on it once before, to St. Mungo's when his brother had the flu, and he had to listen to his mother complain about the 'filth and disgust' of common wizard transport. How had they summoned it? He threw out his wand arm, with his wand in his hand, and he heard a bang. He stepped back as a bus zoomed up to the curb, almost running him down.

**-Teenage Wasteland, The Who**

**8.**_** "Everything is gonna be alright. Be strong. Believe."**_

He knocked on the large wooden door on the Potter house, and waited for an answer. After several minutes, the door opened, and Jame's mother appeared in front of him. "Oh, hello, Siri-" She began, but stopped after a quick glance at Sirius. He saw her eyes give him a once over, and she immediatly pulled him inseide. "James! Come here, please!" She called up the staircase, before rounding on Sirius. She grabbed Sirius face in her hands, and Sirius recoiled, his still healing wounds stinging at her touch. She withdrew her wand, and brouhgt Sirius through to the kitchen. "Sit." She said, pointing at the stool at the counter. Sirius sat.

"What happened to you, mate?" James entered the kitchen, staring at Sirius's bruised and cut up face.

"That's what I'd like to know." Jame's mother said, placing a hand on her hip. Sirius didnt look at either of them Of course... He couldn't just walk in looking like he walked away from a lost fight and not expect questions. "Sirius." He looked up at Mrs. Potter. "You know that you can stay here as long as you'd like." She said gently.

"Th-thank you." Sirius replied.

"But I'm going to have to ask you want happened, I'm afraid. You'll find it much more difficult later, after everything sinks in. So, please," She handed him a steaming cup of tea. "tell me what happened."

**-Believe, Yellowcard**

**9.**_** "See all those people all the ground, wasting time. Try to hold it all inside. I just want to die."**_

"That's rough, mate." James said, handing Sirius some sheets. "Mum send a letter to Dumbledore, letting him know your here to stay." He grinned.

"Thanks, James." Sirius replied, trying to smile back, but knowing it only came out as a grimace. The cold finality of it all was finally crashing down upon him. As evil and vile his family was, _it was his family._ He had strifed his entire life to please his mother, and the fact that he had never achieved that will haunt him. "I think I'm gonna go upstairs and get a bit of sleep. I've been up forever..."

"I'll call you when dinner's ready, 'kay?"

Sirius lay face-up on a unfamiliar bed, on unfamiliar sheets, his head resting on an unfamiliar pillow in an unfamiliar room. Birhgt sunlight would have been flittering into the room if he hadn't draped one of the sheets over the window; he prefered the darkness. "_I am done trying to make you stay for the sake of your mother!" _His father's harsh words echoed over and over in his mind, making his heart heavier and heavier with guilt.

**-On My Own, The Used**

**10. **_**"We'd like to help you learn to help yourself. Look around you, all you see are simpathetic eyes.**_

He woke with a start. Sweat dripped off of him, and he blinked several times. He raised his hands to his face, covering his eyes, hiding the dark room from view. He had a dream; he was back in Grimmauld Place, and everything was normal, but his mother wouldn't look at him. Even if he yelled at her, she'd just ignore him. It shouldn't bother him so much. But even as he tried to tell himelf to forget it, _she doesn't care_, he felt the tears coming, but he still couldn't cry. Not yet. A sign on weakness was not what he needed right now. He sat up and removed his hands.

"James didn't wake you, because you were sleeping so soundly." Came a voice at the end of the bed. Remus Lupin's eyes were glowing, staring at him, from the edge of his bed. Sirius just looked at him. "James sent me a letter soon after you arrived. He didn't tell me it was this bad." He indicated the scars, cuts and bruises on Sirius's bare chest. Sirius pulled up his knee's to his chest, hiding most from view, and looked away, a lump in his throat, the need to cry mounting. He couldn't cry in front of Remus of all people. Remus sighed. "Why didn't you tell any of us life at home was this bad? We all woud have offered-"

"Because I thought I could fix it." Sirius said, his voice breaking. "I was obviously wrong. I thought I coud prove that I was anything but worthless to them. I had hoped-" The lump in his throat stopped him from continuing. He took a deep breath, and shook his head, feeling his tears crawling down the length of his face. "I know... I know they're evil... and cruel... but- I had hoped I could change them... I wanted... I wanted a proper family..."

Remus's hand landing on his shoulder made him srtop. "Sirius... What you don't realise... is that you have a proper family right here." He smiled gently. "James, Peter and I. We care for you, and trust you, beyond anything."

**-Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel**

_**/**_

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the artist's listed above.**

** Well, the theme was Sirius's possible abuse at home. I'm not quite sure his father would even bother, but I love child abuse. Geeze, what a morbid thought. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and pease drop a comment!**

_**SurpriseSushi**_


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